Never a dull moment

I initially thought this blog would be mostly about my decorating projects and flea market finds, like the ones I made yesterday (a little black nightstand that will be perfect in my office for my photo printer when/if Ryan hooks it up for me, a few metal 3s--my favorite number, another sad old vintage stuffed dog and a vintage camera). I had to drag Macauley around Charlie's Place with me and bribe him with a Dr. Pepper Diet (which is how it reads on the label and how he always says it) to follow semi-willingly. I have only been to that place a couple of times, but I think it is making it on my list of places for good finds. I made $179 from my own flea market booth at STD Central over the last 3 weeks, so I felt justified in shopping. Not that I need justification. Note the flip-flops and watering can from the Wal-Mart spree made it into the photo as well.

But I have to put down yet another "bathroom moment" Macauley and I had today. I suppose the odds of us having so many humorous bathroom incidents are really favorable because I think we've toured every commode in town throughout his potty-training years, and even now, he has "to go" at least 3 times an hour no matter where we are. And now that I'm writing, I remembered that in the drive-thru at the bank today Macauley had one of those urgent, I've-got-to-go-NOW! moments and there was absolutely nothing I could do but offer him a Doritos bag to pee in. He did it! And thank goodness that chip bag was watertight! One of the, I don't know--joys? of having a boy is that in a bathroom pinch, they are rather adaptable. I can't believe I'm fessing up to having him do that! The even more memorable moment, though, was yet to come--in the women's restroom at CVS Pharmacy where we went to pick up a bunch of pictures I printed to scrapbook and Father's Day cards for this weekend. I will warn you--this little anecdote is indelicate and not for the faint of heart....As I pushed open the restroom door, we were overtaken by the absolute worst smell. As an adult, I instinctively held my breath and pretended not to notice, but my child just couldn't do the same. Macauley looked up at me, waved his hand under his nose and said, "PEE-YEW!" in the most exclamatory tone and I just got cracked up. I couldn't help it. I was trying to laugh silently and shush him but he kept on: "What is that suh-mell?" I told him it was a bathroom and just to deal with it and hurry up and take care of business, but we both kept getting cracked up. The lady in the stall next to us flushed and said, "That smell was in here when I came in!" as she washed her hands and made a hasty exit. I do believe her because some lingering evidence made me think we were in the stall that was the scene of the horrendous crime. We washed our hands and as we hurried out Macauley said, "Man, I feel like I need a shower now. Don't you, Mom?" I had to agree. He had to call his dad and Aunt Lindsay on the way home to tell them all about how someone had "explosive diarrhea" and stunk up the CVS bathroom. And I still couldn't keep from laughing when I listened to him do so...

Pretending

Macauley and I spent the morning playing "grocery store" with his shopping cart, cash register and miscellaneous items from his play kitchen (that he rarely touches unless someone else comes over to play) that may or may not actually be found in a grocery store (i.e. an ostrich that he said cost $3000). We took turns being the shopper and the cashier, and I must say the prices in Macauley's store were absolutely exhorbitant (see total on register). I'm not always great about playing make-believe, or even playing much at all, but Macauley was genuinely delighted to have me join in his little game. I should also add that he officially changed his name a couple of days ago to "Dash," the speedy little super-hero kid from The Incredibles. He now will answer to only that, so I kept pretending to page him over the intercom of our "store" by that name to ask him questions. I even did a "Code Adam" on his pet chicken he left behind while shopping. He loved it. Turns out I'm much better at playing pretend "shopping" than I am at pretend trains or car crashes or some of the other boy-type scenarios he creates. Go figure.

Shopping Spree

You know those times you go to Wal-Mart and spend a million dollars and then get home and realize you might be able to make one meal but you have enough Kool-aid and Cheezits to last a year or two? Macauley and I made one of those trips yesterday. Granted we had to buy a birthday gift and snacks to sustain his daylong grazing now that we're both home from school for the summer, but we also left with a number of non-essentials, including a new bug-shaped watering can, a SpongeBob movie, SpongeBob flip-flops (I am generally opposed to character clothing/shoes but he looked so cute in them I relented temporarily), books, headbands, scrapbooking letters, mascara, lipgloss and 24 miscellaneous flavored waters. When I handed Macauley the lipgloss to put in the cart, he said, "Oooh, Mom. This color is beautiful! Men are going to be knocking down our door!" No idea where he got that, but he has learned that telling me I'm pretty and skinny and "sexy" will get him everywhere with me, including into a pair of gaudy bright yellow SpongeBob flip-flops! Before we left for the store, Macauley crafted a shopping list for us (a fairly tedious process that involved me spelling out each word while trying to shop on ebay and figure out my new blog). He embellished it with some tape and one of my scrapbooking leaf design punches. The climax of the whole excursion, however, was when I absentmindedly wandered into the men's bathroom by mistake. We used to always shop at the Wal-Mart on South Campbell because it is close to KHS, and there the women's restroom is on the right. The Independence Wal-Mart, where we shopped yesterday, has it placed on the left. Sadly, I have done this before there, but yesterday I was all the way in, door closed behind me, when I looked up and saw at least six men gawking back at me. Fortunately in my embarrassment my eyes went crossed so the whole scene was blurry and I have no lingering specifics, but I backpeddled out of there, face red, Macauley chuckling. We hid in the women's until we thought the coast was clear then giggled for at least another few minutes as we continued to load up our cart with junk we didn't need. We took forever to check out, partly because we had so much stuff, but also because I brought my own reusable shopping bags and the cashier had to disable the uberefficient bag carousel and place my items more tediously. Despite the time (and inconvenience to all the huffy people in line behind me), I am hellbent on using few to no plastic bags in my life, knowing they each take several hundred years to decompose--I'm not hyperenvironmental but I figure every little bit helps, at least that's what I think Oprah said. I'm sure even shopping at Wal-Mart is one of the worst, most politically incorrect things I can do...Oh well. Baby steps.

We had a good day and finished off the evening by curling up in my favorite big chair downstairs with Daddy to watch The Wizard of Oz, one of my favorite movies since I was young. I bet several of us can remember how, when we were growing up, the movie was played on TV once or twice a year and it was an event! So I spent a majority of the movie watching Macauley's face and reactions rather than the screen. He loves "disaster" so the tornado was a highlight for him, and he had lots of questions about how witches can be both good and bad and if the lion was really just a man dressed up in a lion costume. I thought he would fall asleep halfway through because we started it late, but he was a trooper. He said he liked it. I am such a sap because when Dorothy was singing the classic "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" I semi-teared up at the thought of life coming full circle in a way, how I couldn't have known when I was a little girl lying on my tummy in front of our big console RCA TV (or a similar model at my Nanny and Papaw's house) watching Dorothy and company how it would really feel to someday be cuddled up with my own child seeing the whole thing in a new way. Kind of cheesy, I know. Probably just a Mom thing. But those words Dorothy uses to make it back to Kansas resonate in so many ways for me, and especially in how much I am enjoying being at my house with my little boy and my stuff and my creative projects and not at work with other people's kids and other people's agendas. There really is no place like home. Click click.